Tick-Tock

Tick-tock, tick-tock! Time keeps ticking, even if we don't!

Make a change. Make a start. Make a commitment. This is what I tell myself, while simultaneously avoiding doing these things. Why? Why is it that I continually CHOOSE to remain overweight and unfit, rather than taking control and becoming the person I want to be (healthy, happy, and able to wear clothes that more accurately reflect my personality rather than clothes that simply fit).
I have wondered "why" for years really... And at times thought that dismissing the quest to uncover the reasons would be more productive. Instead I could focus on making the necessary daily changes... But I seem to go around and around, tangled in my own personal sticky spider web again.

Guilt. Frustration. Guilt. Sadness. Anger. Guilt. Frustration. Guilt.
These are the feelings I have when I think about the state of my health, and the importance of losing weight. I know it's possible to lose weight. I have lost some in the past. I have also been unsuccessful in losing weight on many occasions. I have seen dieticians, psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors, naturopaths, joined Weight Watchers 3 times, and paid the required money to follow the Sure Slim program. I've watched TV shows such as the Biggest Loser with great interest, have borrowed and purchased various books, and even read some of them!
I have previously also tried regular walking, aerobic dvd workouts at home, gym classes, gym visits for cardio and weights, and personal training, aqua classes and casual swimming, martial arts classes, and even belly dancing - but never really got to that "zone" people talk about where it suddenly becomes an enjoyable and easy activity to look forward to rather than dread! And so, I feel that consistency is my downfall there.

Making big changes feels very uncomfortable, and I believe we are naturally inclined to resist, even if we know the outcome is for the better good! I do feel bad about what I am doing to my body, and the happy and physically active experiences I put off for pursuing "one day when I am slimmer/thinner/fitter..."
I have lived thirty-three years of my life - I don't know how many more I have. Maybe 60? Maybe 30? Maybe just 3? Tick-tock tick-tock... Make a change. Make a start. Make a commitment.