Happy New Year ! It's 2013 !!!

Happy New Year!

Weigh in: 01/01/2013 111.7 kg

Although the journey has been ridiculously slow and incredibly frustrating, it looks as though I actually weigh 3.7kg less than this time a year ago!
(02/01/2012 115.4 kg)

So... still battling... lol.
Got some new shoes for Christmas, so I need to start walking! Even just around the block to start with. And hey, maybe I'll even go enjoy the beach as it's so nearby... It is summer...

Goal: 109 kg by Feb 14th. x

Weigh-in

I weighed in tonight.... at 112.2kg. That's about a kilo less than 3 weeks ago! ;)
Still really struggling though, and being pretty hard on myself.

A friend suggested to me today, that when I'm done for the day, tired, heading for the couch - to do ONE more thing. Even if I really don't think I can, just do one more thing before relaxing on my butt!
She suggested raking the lawn, sweeping the floor, vacuuming, etc. Something physical. Anything.

So tonight when I got home, I did. I repotted some plants, lifting bags of soil, bending, stretching, and watered the garden. I'm pooped!

I really thought 2012 would be the year I could "crack" this whole weight/health thing... But as Christmas grows nearer, and my mind wanders to thoughts of a "fresh start" in the New Year, I realise that I have not managed to make the positive changes in my life that I believed I would.

And so, I will make 2013 MY year! ...And I have December 2012 as a "head-start!"
There's eight months to go to my big day! Wedding bells!!! x

No-No-November!

November. Yup. Still hovering around the 112kg mark... Sigh.

Have eased off the meal replacement shakes AND the handfuls of vitamin supplements  per day due to tummy issues - which have now settled.

Still constantly tired and run down. I know this is common for overweight people - and for those with Fibromyalgia - and can be a side effect of having diabetes as well! (Plus new tests show my iron levels are still a bit down). Not sure exactly what to blame though - or if it really matters!?! It's due to all of the above I suppose.

Recently my partner and I had our initial consult with the IVF clinic to find out specific information and costs so we can work toward a start-date... Obviously people's chances of conceiving are better when their bodies are in peak condition... *pangs of guilt and despair!* And apparently the diabetes is a considerable factor too :(

Late next month I have a follow up appointment with an Endocrinologist who told me at my last appointment that if my health hasn't significantly improved, she will recommend I go off the tablets I currently take, and instead go to insulin injections! A scary thought! She claims that studies have shown this assists the pancreas and allows it some rest, rather than waiting for things to become dire so that the pancreas actually RELIES on the injections?! I still want to investigate this further though.

I'm behind on Christmas preparations, have missed friend's birthdays, and am planning a massive garage sale and de-clutter this coming weekend! I feel overwhelmed with work commitments (my 12-15 hours per week feel like 40 or more to me!) I am battling with anxiety... And know that I need to drastically change my lifestyle but still don't feel I know how to take control and GET RESULTS! The anxiety really impacts on me physically as well... From headaches to tingles and buzzing in my head.

Somebody please write something on here and support me...? (I'm just feeling really low right now). x

September

So I'm still following the program (although not as diligently as previously!)

Had an unplanned trip away which threw a spanner in the works... Went off track a bit (hence the minor gain) but I was pleased the gain was minimal.

Been really struggling with energy lately. Very likely anaemic again (need more iron supplements!) and the changes to my diet are affecting my body - changes in hormone levels, skin differences, bowel motion differences, and excessive tiredness which is maybe to do with toxin elimination at least in part? I'm not really sure, but I'm getting very frustrated about constantly feeling so run down! (Particularly as I'm trying to make healthy changes and do good things for my body!)

So progress is slowly happening... And I must remain positive and focussed on the fact that it is happening (and not worry about it taking time to happen). I need to keep reminding myself that if I keep this up, my weight loss will in fact be noticeable by Xmas when I see my family next! I would love to hear their exclamations about my figure - (changes should start to be visible once I lose 10kg onwards) as I haven't made any real visible progress in years! That would feel great!

The final challenge meeting for this round is in 2 days time. It will be interesting to see how my measurements may have changed over the past 7 weeks....

Summary:

27/08/12 (away)

03/09/12 112.2 (+0.2)

10/09/12 111.9 (-0.3)

It's August, baby!

Hello again!

My partner and I recently joined an 8 week community weight loss challenge (we started a week late, so we have 7 weeks!).

On our first week, we were photographed, weighed & measured. My start weight was 114.7kg. That week we aimed to drink more water, reduce carbs, and make healthier food choices - and we did.

At the following weigh-in I was 113kg - a loss of 1.7kg! (and Peter lost 1.4kg)

Next, we decided to try some health shakes and vitamins to make our weight loss journey more convenient, and offer more energy. Of all the different dieting techniques and systems I've previously used, I've never actually tried weight loss shakes before.

Anyway, that week we both had birthdays, dined out, drank wine, and I was menstruating (which can affect the scales due to fluid retention etc)... However, I lost a further kilo, weighing 112kg. Yay! (Peter also lost 800grams)

This week I am continuing on the products (shakes and vitamins), with snacks of fruit and nuts (or protein bars). I'm making healthy dinner choices and ensuring we both eat meals with reduced carbs (although attempting to live without them completely is simply unrealistic). I am also diligently drinking around 2 litres of water a day.

I'm keeping up with working part-time hours, and as yet am not pushing myself with exercise, although this will need to be added later.


Summary:

06/08/12 114.7
13/08/12 113 (-1.7)
20/08/12 112 (-1.0)

Photo

From time to time I update my photo on Facebook, or sms one to my Mum who doesn't live nearby... But I always hold the camera up above my head, for the most flattering angle. It hides my extra chins, emphasises my cheekbones, and widens my eyes.

Every once in a while (like at a party last night for example) I see a photo someone else has taken - just a straight-on, regular photo - the way that people see me every day. No flattering angles or tricky lighting, just me, as others know me. In recent years, I have been genuinely shocked to see myself this way. (And shocked at the fact that I feel shocked - because I do after all possess a mirror at home! - But it's easy to focus on certain areas, and not really take in the whole "you" just standing there). Anyway, when I see photos of myself I cannot believe how big I have gotten. I would hate to look so bloated and unwell in my wedding photos...

Here's an example: a happy-snap taken at a friend's 80's themed birthday party last night. (Yes, I'm in costume!) I saw this and thought "oh, God". It's not meant to be a horrible portrayal of me - just a regular party snapshot. But it's just the way any such photo makes me feel... Big. Ashamed. Unhealthy. Unfit. Bloated. Unwell.

                                                                     12 May, 2012

I'm sure it could be worse, but I certainly don't LOVE looking this way. And would you believe in this photo I'm wearing tummy control underwear - those thick, tight undies that tuck right up under your bra. Yep. Which reminds me - about 2 weeks ago a lady asked if I was pregnant! That's the second time in about 2 years that someone's asked. Groaaaan...

So, the question is questions are-
What am I going to DO to change the way I look and feel?
When am I going to get started and take changes seriously?
What the hell am I waiting for, and Why?!

Here's an interesting article I recently came across online:
http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/6-keys-to-overcome-fear-and-doubt/

disMAY !

It's May! Reading through my previous posts I can see that I've not even TRIED to reach goals that I've set myself?!

10th May weight: 113.4

Also, our wedding is planned* for August 2013.... Giving me 15 months to get to a point where I can bare seeing photos of myself!
*The wedding date has kept moving annually, due to moving house, changing jobs, financial issues, etc. I'm quite determined to be married by 2013 - no ifs, buts, or maybes!!! Nothing is booked or locked in yet - but i'm making it my mission in 2012!

Also, IVF.... We want children. We apparently can't do it naturally - (due to a failed vasectomy reversal) so we need to pay for assistance via IVF. We're scheduling an initial appointment in June to find out what's involved, costs, and how my current state of health & weight will affect our chances of success. We don't have much money, but after finding out the facts, would potentially be hoping to get started by December 2012.

Saw a new GP recently - she seemed nice so will go back in coming weeks to schedule a full blood work up & review of medications etc. I tend to blame the FM for my constant tiredness - but much of it is actually likely related to the T2 Diabetes that I basically generally ignore - bar taking my tablets. Not good.

Still have yet to get into regular walking... We live in a nice area though so I'm going to try to make it a regular event :)

To think, my "healthy weight range" is 54-68 kg - I have a looooong way to go!!! But I don't even bother thinking about that at this stage. Just getting under 100kg would be such an achievement! From there, new goals to head toward 85kg, maintain, and refresh goals again from there...

Feeling overwhelmed.

But "onward and upward" as my fiancé sometimes says, lol.

Snapshot Review

Let's re-visit:

October 2011  115.3
January 2012   113
March 2012     114.4

Total loss in almost 6 months: -0.9kg !!!!

Thankfully not a gain - but obviously I need a new strategy if I'm to make a difference to my weight in the next six months!

GOAL: To reach 109 kg by May 1st 2012.

That's 8 weeks to lose 5.4 kg.

Oops - I fell off the wagon!

Wow, almost 2 months have passed since my last post!

The house we were renting has been sold & we had to move... Found a nice little place a few suburbs out. But the urgency of packing, moving and cleaning was tiring!

Also my Mum visited from out of town for almost 2 weeks - arriving on moving day! :p

We made it in the end - although I've lost steam temporarily and have hardly UN-packed anything yet!

But during all this chaos - I paid no attention to my diet/exercise... I suppose I got a bit more exercise than usual by all the lifting, carting & cleaning?! But also have consumed more unhealthy takeaway food than usual.

...So I weighed myself today and thought I'd better "check-in"!!!

5th March 2012.... 114.4kg

Hmm... Still have a few things to sort out, but I'd better start running after that wagon and get back on!!!

Happy New Year!

Yes, it's 2012.
I am committed to taking a slow & steady approach to weight loss this year. In the past I've focussed more on the all-or-nothing style of thinking, which has ultimately led to disappointment & depression.

As of Jan 1, this is what I've done differently compared with 2011:

• Slightly smaller meal serves (particularly trying to be more aware in evenings)
• Gentle walks 2-3 times per week (as little as a literal walk around the block, or an hour stroll along the beach)
• Being mindful of water consumption - still not managing 1.5 litres a day yet, but remembering a bit more often now!
• Maintaining a positive attitude & belief that this time, it really is possible to improve my health & fitness! - Because it IS! 

And now to be rather bold & share these figures with the world.... lol

January 2012

2nd  = 115.4

7th   = 114

10th = 113

So my weigh-ins have admittedly been somewhat frequent, but if it's working for me at the moment, then why should I feel bad about it? :)

As already outlined, I'm not doing MUCH different - but it's the shift in my mind that is almost physically allowing the weight to drop! I'm still basically eating the same foods - just SLIGHTLY less. Also gradually I want to replace more processed/snack foods with fresh fruit & veg alternatives. I went shopping yesterday & read the packaging on EVERYTHING I picked up. Do you know it is ALMOST impossible to buy any edible packaged product that DOESN'T contain numbers?!?!? Scary. Even something as seemingly innocent as jelly is full of all sorts!

Anyway, my initial goal is to lose 10% of my weight, which is to reach 102.5kg. Ideally, I'd like to be able to reach this goal by the end of March this year. Then set a new target weight.